When do you feel the most loved? Is it when your significant other offers to take out the trash that’s been sitting outside your front door for days? Or maybe it’s when they tell you just how special you are to them. Or maybe they just know that after a long, tiring day at work, all you need is a warm hug and all your problems just seem to fade away.
In this blog, I’m committed to helping you along in your journey toward discovering how you feel most loved and how that ties into the one day of the year focused almost entirely on love: Valentine’s Day.
We all feel special when our partner puts so much thought and effort into what it takes for us to feel valued and appreciated. Naturally, we love knowing they’ve done this, especially when they get it so right. However, there are those of us who feel a little bit like our significant other has given up and settled for the classic roses and generic box of assorted chocolate found at the local grocery store. Whether or not you’re content with this option, I’m going to lay out some explanations as to why we feel more loved in certain scenarios.
It all depends on your love language. “But Brody, what does that mean?” The 5 Love Languages is a book written by Gary Chapman to help us understand what it is that makes us feel the most loved. Everyone has a different way in which they want to receive love, and this book helps partners better understand that.
What are the five love languages?
Words of affirmation: This love language is one that almost all of us will relate to. It’s the act of showing somebody you love them through the use of words. This often looks like verbally encouraging someone—pointing out their gifts and strengths, therefore revealing their value, making them feel seen and appreciated. Saying “I love you” often is also a way of expressing this love.
Quality time: This means that you feel most appreciated, seen, and loved when your partner takes time out of their daily schedule to be with you. This can be in the form of spending time alone with each other without distractions or it could mean just having your partner take time to spend time with you while you both do the same thing—like putting together a puzzle, going on a walk, or playing games. I think we can all agree that when you have someone’s undivided attention, you feel like a million bucks.
Acts of service: If you’ve had a bad day and come home exhausted, needing peace but then you’re hit with a messy house and high energy kids, you might’ve run out of ways to cope. But then your partner comes home and pours you a tall glass of wine. They give the kids a bath, take care of the laundry, and put the kids to bed. You feel like you can breath and just by your partner’s actions, can see just how much they love you.
Gifts: You absolutely love it when he or she buys you expensive jewelry, presents you with homemade cards on your birthday, and gives you gifts based on what they know about you. You’re someone who feels so loved when you receive gifts and surprises, especially when your partner puts so much thought and effort into the gifts.
Physical touch: Physical touch means that all you need to know that you’re loved is a big bear hug, a shoulder massage, an arm around your shoulder, or pretty much anything that means coming into close contact with someone you love. This makes you feel close to the person and makes you feel loved when they want to be in such close proximity with you.
Once I understood what my love language was, it changed my relationships with the people around me. Even just knowing your husband or your wife’s love language, you understanding of your relationship will change and bring it to whole new level. Understanding this about one another is of the utmost importance. You’ll become a better partner, more empathic, more understanding, and more loving. It’ll change everything.
I hope I’ve offered some enlightenment and I wish you a happy and memorable Valentine’s Day!